There are times when you receive words of encouragement and it just lifts your soul. Let these words speak truth to your spirit and propel your will to move forward. The Word says death and life are in the power of the tongue- Proverbs 18:21 . . . Speak Life!
You are stronger than you think you are! As you wake up each morning, take a look into the mirror and remind yourself that you are living proof of triumph over every obstacle you're faced with in life. Difficult factors can seem impossible to overcome, but the most important part is never giving up and choosing to take back your power and conquer!
Here’s something to remember while going through the process of recovery, always be gentle with yourself; you’re doing the best you can. It’s okay not being okay all the time. The important thing about the healing process is knowing why you‘ve decided to take the first big step and remember to never give up. You are without a doubt capable of overcoming all that is thrown at you; you are here for a purpose! ❤️
Breaking Our Suffering & Silence (B.O.S.S) is a must read for every person who has endured sexual abuse. When I met Sophia, the author of B.O.S.S, I knew there was something special about our connection. It was a divine appointment established by God. Her book was telling my story in so many ways. Sophia’s writings encouraged me even the more in my commitment to continue helping others through their healing journey.
God has given Sophia a gift that turned tragedy into purpose. In B.O.S.S, page 77, "As Real as it Gets" struck a nerve. I was reading words but facing me. My journey has not been perfect. I have made many mistakes. But like Sophia, I no longer question why, instead I am grateful to be walking in victory. Today I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker helping others overcome chemical dependency and traumatic pain from sexual abuse and other issues of life.
Using Sophia’s book B.O.S.S along with biblical and spiritual teachings shows how God can turn tragedy into triumph. B.O.S.S provides spiritual soundness and clinical reality against the insane residue left from sexual trauma. If you dare to be restored and revived, B.O.S.S is a must have. Take charge of your life as God planned. The devil can try to slow you down, but he cannot stop your destiny.
I could only imagine the silent thoughts that run through the mind of a survivor of sexual abuse. “If only I hadn’t... why didn’t someone protect me?” So much suffering in silence, so much bundled up pain.
I am so proud of you for ending the silence, and connecting to resources on the website. The guilt, hurt and pain that you are struggling with is evidence of the fact that you are healing. It may not feel that way, but rest assured God is working this out for your benefit. He is breaking cycles of pain all in an effort to restore you to a place of victory over the lies, violations, and hurts of the past.
Please know that there are prayer warriors praying over your situation and your specific needs. God loves you and so do I!
I am a Social Work Supervisor and train Social Work Interns from various undergraduate and graduate schools of Social Work in New York City. One of the assignments is to provide support groups at a homeless shelter for women where I work. Several of the women have experienced sexual and physical abuse. As a resource for the students, I shared Sophie's workbook addressing Sexual Abuse. Little did I know one of my Interns was able to break her silence about an extremely horrific rape she had survived.
After reading the book Breaking Our Suffering & Silence, that I gifted her, she shared how the information provided redirected her life as a survivor, providing beneficial solutions to the problematic circumstances blocking her positive growth forward. She shared how the manual was a great resource for her on-going path to wellness and spiritual stability. She appreciated that the information was empowering with a spiritual foundation, as she continues to strive to be a self-sufficient member of society.
Life is fragile. We received a poignant reminder of how fragile and precious life is over the last few days. We all have to remember not to make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings and emotions no matter how excruciating the pain or how hopeless we feel. As a clinician, I know that depression is real and can be debilitating (do not let people diminish your feelings by telling you to get over it). The good news is that mood disorders, including depression can be treated with the help of trained professionals (enhanced by a good support network). Suicide is never the answer, it will not dull the pain.
There is help available for those who need it, however, you have to want and seek it for yourself. Unfortunately, the nature of depression is that it tends to not only rob people of their joy but also the ability to take the necessary steps to reach out for help, and in turn people feel stuck. You do not have to stay stuck. These feelings often lift with treatment (prayer is also highly recommended in addition to treatment). If you need services, call your health insurance provider or if uninsured contact your local Community Services Board. If you experience feelings of self-harm, call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or go to your closest emergency room. May God bless you, heal you, and keep you!
To My Sisters:
In this (what could often feel rough) walk through life, I speak to you from a place of brokenness of my own. Some of which have healed, and some of which are still in the process . . . gradually as it may be. I'm just a man, maybe even more so a boy within. I won't sit here and try to fully understand the density of the burden you carry within. A weight of many shapes, sizes, and perhaps even seasons. But as an individual with a heart that I've many times been convinced feels far too deep for my own mind to even comprehend, just know that I am moved to my very core by your stories . . . and even more so by your unwavering perseverance.
To extend my empathy couldn't even fill the shoes of your unfathomable ability to endure and press on, both in emotional/mental warfare and in the easily overlooked silence in which you all fight on through. What I can and willfully do with my heart is be a (if even a small) reminder . . . a gentle tug of encouragement (if even that) for your hardest, or darkest of days that may come visit you periodically.
You are beautiful. Your past, however unwanted or hurtful as it may be, is not WHO you are. Its a part of your story. There is so much more of you to go, to give, to receive. We're all broken in some way or another. In essence, its' how the light gets in. Crayons, whether brand new out of the box, worn, or broken from usage, still color the very same. God continually used the broken to reach the broken. Perhaps its our version of how magnets operate.
You inspire me, you cause immense admiration, and I will continue to carry my own cross in this life, scrapes, scabs, splinters and all, and will praise you, lift you up, and honor you all with every broken and chipped part of me for every bit of godly, priceless beauty you all are made of. . .
Love, Ernesto
As I began to pen this, I realized how difficult this was. After having lived through such a traumatic experience, why would I ever want to speak about this? Why would I ever want to go through those emotions again? All I want to do is close that door, erase those memories and NEVER think about that again. The shame, the hurt, the betrayal, feeling dirty and guilty even when it was not my fault. I was the one violated, and yet I felt like I was the one to blame. This person violated my trust and then my body . . .
To every person who has been through this and feels like you have to justify yourself to anyone, just know that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! As the rage builds up in you for the desire of justice, just know that even when we are not seeing justice carried out with our natural eyes, the time will come. Don't consume yourself, plotting, planning, and wishing, just trust in God when he says, "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord" Romans 12:19 KJV. Know that God will fight for you.
Do not listen to the lies being whispered by the accuser, saying you are not worthy nor good enough. Shame, hatred, fear, and resentment have no power over you. YOU ARE WORTHY and LOVED! "But the LORD has been my stronghold, and my God is my rock of refuge. He will bring upon them their own iniquity and destroy them for their wickedness. The LORD our God will destroy them." Psalm 94:22,23 NASB
Some people who have been abused don't show their scars on the outside so being a survivor they don't get credit for. Cancer patients, gun-shot victims, persons injured from car accidents, people who survive these things get a lot of praise and recognition. I tell you, "You are just as strong or stronger depending on the age of the abuse."
Do not be afraid of what was done to you. You must move forward less you grow roots in unfertile soil. Mentally, emotionally use Him as your strength to put away the worldly man and introduce yourself to the spirit man. Build the wall behind you and destroy the bridge that will take you back. Start a new life within you day by day, step by step, brick by brick. This new mentality will allow you to be loved, find love, and love in return.
Although you can't erase the memories, pain, or even guilt, when you're on your healing journey, and you connect with others who share similar experiences, be a source of courage, light, and direction. On this day, as the survivor you already are, light your beacon to show others who are lost, have questions, and hurting the reason for your strength. Teach them that they too can heal from the past and see a brighter future.
I too am like those who can't see your pain or scars because I have not been where you've been. So, when I talk of lighting your light or beacon, I mean for all: the people you once were, the people who will never understand where you've been, and the people who are destined to be who you are yet to become. You are, have always been, and will always be a Man/Woman of Strength, a Lion/Lioness, a Survivor! To my friend and light Sophia blessed are those who knows your heart.
Healing can often be described as the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again according to Oxford Dictionary.
When thinking about this in respect to counseling it can seem very overwhelming. This is actually a process that happens overtime. When confronting our demons, past hurt and past pain it is crucial to understand where it stems from as well as to acknowledge that you were the victim. This is regardless of what others may say or do. Oftentimes we lose sight of this because we may have been silenced for so long. We have no idea of what our voice sounds like. Once we open our mouths and speak about that hurt and pain, the true healing begins. At this point we are taking ownership of our lives back.
At that very moment it appears to be scary and overwhelming. But as long as we continue to speak our truth aloud, we slowly gain pieces of ourselves back. This often come at a price where others feel that we are being selfish or hurting them. When in actuality you are not. You are merely setting yourself free from the pain and hurt they have inflicted upon you.
For me, a relationship with Christ plays a huge part in the healing process. Oftentimes as we heal the devil becomes very busy. He sees that we are working to be set free from the bondage that has held us down and back. This frustrates, if not infuriates him and he will stop at nothing to keep us tied down to those strong holds. If we feed into the devil and his tactics he continues to win and we stay stuck right there with him. We must pray and allow our Father God to move in our lives when this happens. Never forget, with God your healing is inevitable!
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